gua tak peduli apa nak jadi.

gua baru ingat blog ni wujud lagi rupanya. tak apalah. gua tak ada masa jugak nak update sebenarnya. bagi gua ruang dulu nak update. banyak topik nak cerita ni. tapi masa tak ada. bye. Assalamualaikum

p/s : gua tak tau kenapa ada manusia follow blog hina ni. terima kasih. :D

Maafkan kami.

Assalamualaikum.

Gua Morgan. Baik. Gua tahu followers blog ini cuma ada tiga orang. sekurang-kurangnya ada. sebab apa? sebab gua tak pernah promote blog ni dimana-mana. Kenapa? sebab gua gemuk. Bila gemuk, gua akan jadi malas. bila gua sudah malas, gua akan malas dalam melakukan segala hal. Lu faham konsep yang cuba gua nak sampaikan? hehh konsep wakluss.

Baiklah. Sebenarnya, gua mohon maaf dari pihak blog LBN (Little Black Note) sendiri kerana lama dah menyepi dalam blog ni. Blog personal kami pun tak berupdate langsung, apatah lagi LBN yang hanya mewakili alter ego kami. Biarlah kami menyepi buat seketiak seketika. Kami perlukan masa sebenarnya. Masa untuk update blog, sebab internet bukan lagi dadah gua mahupun Sapphire. Baiklah, sebenarnya Sapphire sedang berbahagia dengan kekasih tercintanya. Biasalah tu, orang sedang bahagia memang sentiasa menumpukan pada pasangan beliau. Sementara gua? Gua sudah single woi. Baiklah. Faktor kecewa jugak menyebabkan gua menyepi dari arena blogging ecewah arena kemain tau.

Gua tak mahu sembang panjang. Konklusi untuk entri ini. Gua akan cuba update blog ni disebabkan banyak sebenarnya gua cuba nak sampaikan dekat sini. Ada sesuatu yang aku tak puas hati tetapi tak dapat nak tulis di personal blog aku, aku akan cuba tulis di sini.

Gua peminat tegar atau kipas susah mati Radiohead. Jadi, dipersilakan dengar lagu dari album King of Limbs, Lotus Flower. I love you, Mr. Thom Yorke <3

Surat buat insan celaka.

Wahai insan celaka yang paling gua sayang,

Lu boleh pulangkan balik hati gua tak?

Lu curi bila lu perlukan, bila lu dah bosan simpan hati gua lama-lama dalam kotak, lu buang tepi jalan macam lu tak pernah jumpa hati gua. Apa babi sangat perangai lu ni lancau?

Gua rasa ibu lu ada ajar lu macam mana nak hargai barang kan? Gua bukan nak kutuk ibu lu. Masalahnya, ini sepatutnya benda asas yang lu kena belajar masa lu masih hisap susu gantung ibu lu. Ya, benda asas yang lu kena belajar mula-mula untuk hidup. - hargai perasaan orang.

Lu selalu merungut, "apasal tak ada orang yang selalu nak hargai perasaan gua?"

Lu nak orang hargai perasaan lu, tapi lu pijak perasaan orang lain. Macam mana orang nak hargai perasaan lu? Gua rasa lu belum pernah rasa macam mana sakitnya kecewa. Perangai babi macam lu tahu ke nak rasa kecewa?

Dulu gua tak pernah percaya karma itu pernah wujud. WTF SIAL BENDA ASYIK BERULANG-ULANG BILA NAK HABIS? -  itu pandangan gua tentang karma dulu. Tapi bila jumpa lu, baru gua tahu karma itu wujud.

Bila gua fikir balik, it's a circle of life.

Lu tau tak hidup ni bulat macam roda juga bumi berbentuk sfera? Gua tak rasa lu tahu sebab otak lembu macam lu ni masih lagi fikir yang bumi ni rata. Sebab itu lu tak pernah rasa kecewa, otak lu macam lembu. Lu tak pernah melalui kitaran hidup. Hidup lu selama ni indah je.

Gua harap nanti bila lu dah jumpa orang yang dah curi hati lu, lepas tu dia buat lu macam lu buat dekat gua sekarang, sila jumpa gua. Gua nak tahu apa yang lu rasa. Dan gua harap benda tu jadi dua kali ganda lagi teruk dekat lu!

Nak kembali dengan gua? Boleh. Everybody deserves a second chance. Tapi ingat, kasih sayang yang gua bagi dengan lu tak kan sama macam gua bagi masa peluang pertama dulu.

Satu je gua nak pesan ; Belajar hargai perasaan orang, bukan susah.

Nenek ini comel kan?

ll Think Twice ll

Here's a first entry from Sapphire, This entry is 

based on someone and she would

like to share about it and hope you fellow readers

will think twice, hence the title.....

Have you ever thought about losing your virginity?

How would it feel and if it's with the right person?

Of course losing it is a big deal, if some of you out

there think it's just nothing then there's

definitely some thing wrong with you.

Did you know that when you get married (for girls

of course),some family will put 

on a white bed sheet

just to make sure that the girl is truly

still a virgin? If you'll lost

your virginity a long time ago

say during your teens years, 

and even if your husband knows

about it, what about his family? 

Are you gonna cut yourself and spread blood

all over the bed? I'm sure

your not willing to do so...

So here's the real story that I'm about to share.

(P.S, I'm trying to write from her point of view)

I never did understand how people could

lose it so easily without feeling

guilty, sad and such about it.

I mean what happen if you did it

with the wrong person? If he

was your husband then it's okay cause

one, people won't talk about it like

your some kind of slut sleeping

around with guys and there's

a legal tie between them. I remember doing it

the first time. It was with my then boyfriend,

it was both the first time for us.

I was really afraid at first cause I knew

what will happen if I lose it and such but

then once we did it, he told me he haven't

pop my cherry. So I was still save but let

me tell you, it hurt even if it wasn't pop.

Let's just say we did it a few times and no it was

not pop by him. Things ended between us

for certain reasons but he still love me

and thinks I'm his girlfriend when in

reality, there's nothing between us anymore

and even though I still love him, I love my

current boyfriend more than him.

Truth be told, my current boyfriend is

my ex boyfriend that I used to date

a few years back but I guess

after all this year I still love him.

When we first got back together, 

we did it and of course it didn't pop

yet. Things got a little overboard when

he told me that maybe my

cherry had pop without my notice.

I was by then had shed a tear that turn into

a crying fit, he ask me if the there was any blood

the first time I did it and I said yes. Thus, he

confirm it saying that it was pop if

I bleed. I was by then couldn't think

straight cause during that stage, everything was

falling apart for me and I felt like

killing myself just so I can

stop the pain and end it swiftly.

My boyfriend then said just think that I

was the one who did it instead of my ex.

By then I really wish he was the one cause

I was afraid if it went out to others

and people would of think of me

differently. No one knows of this,

even my ex. Only my boyfriend and I

are the only one who knows about it. So we,

as in my boyfriend and I met up one afternoon.

We talked about it and one thing

led to another, things got hot and

we end up in the bedroom.

And we discovered that, my cherry wasn't

pop yet but by then it was by him. We

were shock to see so much blood

on the bed sheet that we kinda freaked

out cause again it was so new for us.

I went and wash up and realize that I was

actually given a second chance by god to repent but

I did it again and now every thing's too late.

With regret lingering my head and heart, I went

and help my boyfriend to wash the blood.

After the blood was thoroughly washed,

we talk about it and we're both

we afraid except that I look as if nothing

was happening. We talk it out

for a while but didn't continue discussing

about it till later that night through the phone.

And we came to the conclusion maybe

it was a bit pop and I was still

a virgin. How I hope to god

he was right just to give my mind and

heart at ease. But till today,

I'm still regretting but I'm

somehow glad it wasn't with someone

I barely knew. For it give's me

somehow a little peace even if it's just 

a little, it's still a lot for me.

Moral of the story is, please ladies, never

just give your virginity up just like that and

if your given a second chance, never misuse it

like she did . She had since regret and is living in

fear of people knowing the truth, if people we're

to know of it, she would kill herself or even run away

but she's more afraid of her family's will be ruin

because of her. From my perspective, she's a

very smart girl and had a bright future but because of her

mistake, I'm not so sure, please take this story as

a lesson for us all. Please don't judge this poor girl,

she's really at the brink of insanity.

Let's all pray that the girl will get through it

together and will repent for her

mistakes.